Down a Hole

I remembered just in time to take my wallet out of my pocket. Typically by the time I realize my mistake the name was been mostly scratched off the face of my credit card and driver's license. The clay silt gets deep into everything. Worse than going to the beach and finding sand in your swimsuit, the clay works its way into your fingernails and between your toes and behind your ears.

I remembered just in time to take my wallet out of my pocket and put it in the car. I remembered just in time how much I needed this today. It's cold, maybe 20 degrees F. It's warmer down the hole. This little clay foxhole I've dug by hand is nearly 5 ft deep. I reach down between my feet barely scraping handfuls of clay up and lifting them to the surface. The red stains cover my clothes, gloves and tools, even my hat is blemished. The wind is whipping around the corner of the cabin piercing my face every time I come to the surface gulping air before submerging again.

Everything else I do in my life becomes a little more focused as I pant for breath and strain against a creaking wooden handle. The clumps of red come out piece by piece. Happy to dig and feel my personal machinery working. I'm content with the labor, the dirt and the cold.

The clay will equalize you. You either dig a hole or you don't. You can give up because it's difficult, you could hurt yourself under the strain, or you can keep going one coffee can full at a time. I will change clothes when I get home. I'll throw them on the basement floor, but my car seats are stained. My work gloves, wore ragged, are light pink as the clay dries. Everything I touch or manipulate bears evidence of my passing. The clay is deposited whether I like it or not, it cannot truly be undone, washed away or removed. Weeks later my boots are still leaving clay prints where I walk.

My wallet will never be the same. The wear will not go away, it will not repair itself. It's been tarnished along with its contents inside. My plastic identities deformed, rubbed the wrong way and good for little but an impromptu guitar pick.